The holiday season is a cherished time to connect with family and create lasting memories. For many adult children, or anyone supporting a senior loved one, it’s also an opportunity to observe their aging loved one's living situation and help evaluate whether it meets their current and future needs.
Our circumstances change as we age and the homes that served us while we were raising our families are not always practical to hang onto in our later years. Your loved one(s) may already be thinking of a move but are anxious about asking for your support because they know you are busy, they themselves might be nervous about making a change, and there is likely some sentimental attachment to a home they’ve lived in for a long time.
While you're visiting your loved one this holiday season, keep an eye out for some specific observations that might signal its time to consider a change in living arrangements.
Here are practical tips for helping your parent’s assess their living situation during the holidays and steps to navigate potentially challenging conversations.
Look for Signs of Mobility Challenges
As we age, arthritis and other ailments are pretty common and might slow us down. Other mobility challenges could arise, making every day tasks more difficult.
Some common warning signs to watch for:
Difficulty navigating stairs or uneven surfaces: Do your parents avoid certain parts of the house, such as upstairs bedrooms or basements?
Trouble getting up from chairs or beds: Are they relying on furniture for support?
Shuffling or Unsteady Gait: Pay attention to how they walk. Shuffling, hesitation, or frequent stumbling can signal challenges.
Cluttered Pathways: They might avoid cleaning up clutter, possibly due to fear of tripping or difficulty bending down.
Frequent Stops for Rest: Needing to sit down or take breaks frequently during short walks.
Imbalanced Standing or Walking: Swaying, leaning on walls, or struggling to maintain an upright posture.
Reluctance to Go Out: They might avoid outdoor activities due to concerns about uneven sidewalks or fatigue.
Complaints of Pain: Discomfort in knees, hips, or back might cause them to limit movement.
Changes in Activity Levels: Reduced participation in hobbies or physical tasks, like gardening or shopping, can be a subtle sign.
Difficulty With Simple Tasks: Challenges bending to pick something up or standing for long periods.
Sometimes, some simple modifications can easily be done to support your parent(s) or loved one in their existing home for longer, but if they are failing to thrive in their existing situation, it is likely time to start exploring other housing options.
If you choose to complete some modifications, we would highly recommend you consult with a qualified healthcare provider to evaluate their mobility and recommend solutions like physical therapy, mobility aids, and home modifications that can be done to improve their safety navigating the rooms in the house.
Assess for Safety Risks
Seniors often face a variety of safety risks in their aging homes due to changes in mobility, cognition, and physical health. Here are the most common safety risks to watch for:
Slippery or Uneven Floors: Wet surfaces, loose rugs, or uneven thresholds can cause slips or trips.
Stairs and Steps: Lack of railings, poor lighting, or steep stairs can pose a danger.
Cluttered Pathways: Items left on the floor, such as shoes or cords, can obstruct safe movement.
Slippery Tubs and Showers: Wet floors and lack of grab bars increase fall risks.
High Toilets or Sinks: Seniors may struggle to use fixtures that are not height-appropriate.
Hot Water Burns: Difficulty regulating water temperature can lead to accidental scalds.
Outdated Wiring: Old electrical systems may not handle modern appliances safely.
Overloaded Outlets: Too many devices plugged into a single outlet can cause overheating.
Dim Hallways and Stairs: Insufficient lighting increases the risk of falls.
Inaccessible Light Switches: Hard-to-reach switches can make navigating in the dark unsafe.
Clogged Gutters or Roof Leaks: These can lead to water damage and slippery surfaces.
Broken Handrails or Furniture: These issues may fail to provide necessary support.
Pests or Mold: Poor upkeep can lead to health risks, particularly for seniors with respiratory issues.
Notice Signs of Cognitive Decline
Cluttered walkways or fall hazards. Are rugs, cords, or furniture blocking clear paths?
Expired food in the refrigerator or pantry. This may indicate difficulty shopping or remembering to clean out old items.
Unpaid bills or unopened mail. These could signal cognitive changes or overwhelm.
Medication mismanagement. Check for disorganized pill bottles or skipped doses.
Signs of poor hygiene or household neglect. These might suggest difficulty maintaining personal care or home upkeep.
Unattended Cooking: Forgetting to turn off stoves or ovens can increase fire risk.
Medication Mismanagement: Missed Doses, Forgetting to take medication on time and confusion about prescriptions may lead to harmful combinations; keeping outdated medications can lead to accidental ingestion.
Forgetting Doors or Windows Open: This can lead to exposure to elements or home invasions.
Difficulty Using Appliances: Misuse of stoves, heaters, or other devices may result in fires or injuries.
Wandering or Getting Lost: Seniors with memory issues may leave home and become disoriented.
Signs of Isolation or Loneliness
Isolation can have serious physical and mental health implications for seniors. Watch for:
Limited social interactions. Are they regularly seeing friends or attending community activities?
Changes in mood or behavior. Does your parent seem withdrawn, sad, or disinterested in activities they used to enjoy?
Signs of declining communication skills. Are they struggling to follow conversations or share stories?
Social connections are critical for overall well-being. If your parent’s circle of friends has shrunk or they seem disconnected, it might be time to explore opportunities for more engagement.
You’ve Identified Some Concerns, What Now?
Start the Conversation with Compassion
If you’ve identified areas of concern, it’s important to approach the subject thoughtfully. Here are some ideas about how to initiate the conversation:
Pick the right time. Choose a quiet moment when everyone is relaxed and comfortable.
Express concern, not criticism. Frame your observations as care, such as: “I’ve noticed it’s a bit harder for you to get up the stairs lately. How are you feeling about the house these days?”
Invite their input. Let your loved one share their perspective and feelings about their current situation.
Discuss solutions together. Present options collaboratively, such as hiring home support, making modifications to their home, or considering a move to a more manageable living space.
Next Steps
The holidays can serve as a meaningful starting point to address your parent or loved one's living needs. If changes are needed, take small, manageable steps. This could mean organizing a safety assessment, consulting a healthcare provider, or meeting with a real estate professional to explore downsizing options.
Above all, approach the process with patience and understanding. By taking proactive steps, you’re not only safeguarding your parent’s well-being but also strengthening your family bond. If you need any support, don't hesitate to reach out.
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