How to Support Aging Parents with Moving
As parents age, the question of whether they should move to a more suitable living situation becomes an important discussion. It’s not an easy conversation, and for many adult children, raising the topic can feel overwhelming. In Edmonton, with its cold winters and spread-out neighbourhoods, these decisions often arise when managing a larger home or the daily commute to services becomes too much for elderly parents.
If you’re preparing for this conversation, here are some steps to help you approach the topic with empathy, understanding, and the right information.
Start Early and Be Gentle
Talking about the possibility of moving should never feel rushed. Begin the conversation early, well before any urgent needs arise. This will give your parents time to process the idea without feeling pressured. Even if they’re not ready to move, planting the seed will help when the time comes and open them up to feel more empowered. Take advantage of Open Houses to just casually explore options for the future, if circumstances change.
Focus on Their Needs and Comfort
When discussing the move, focus on how it can improve their comfort, safety, and well-being. Highlight practical reasons like the difficulty of maintaining a large home, accessibility issues, or the need to be closer to healthcare services or family.
Key Points to Emphasize:
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Reduced Responsibilities: A smaller home, condo or retirement residence could free them from maintenance burdens.
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Increased Safety: Homes with accessibility features or communities designed for older adults can make daily activities easier.
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Closer to Services and Family: Being closer to essential services and loved ones can improve their quality of life and peace of mind.
Listen More Than You Speak
One of the most important aspects of this conversation is to listen. Your parent(s) might feel anxious about leaving a home filled with memories or fear that they are losing their independence. We know that relying on others to help maintain a home that is no longer serving them isn’t independence, but this isn’t the time to tell them that. Let them express their concerns, fears, and emotions.
Active Listening Tips:
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Don't interrupt. Let them finish their thoughts before responding.
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Acknowledge their emotions. "I understand why this is difficult for you, and it's okay to feel sad about leaving the place you've called home for so long."
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Ask open-ended questions that encourage dialogue. "What's the hardest part for you to think about?"
Involve Them in the Decision-Making Process
Empower your parents by involving them in every step of the decision-making process. Whether it’s looking at different housing options in Edmonton (such as downsizing to a bungalow, moving to a retirement community, or exploring assisted living) or talking about home modifications for aging in place, their input should help drive the process. Providing choices can make them feel in control and alleviate fears of losing independence.
Example Conversation Starter: "How would you feel about visiting a few senior-friendly communities in the area to see what's out there? No commitments, just getting a feel for options."
Offer to Help in Concrete Ways
If your loved one is feeling overwhelmed by the thought of moving, offer specific help to ease the burden. Whether it's organizing a move, packing, decluttering, or simply taking them to view potential new homes, showing that you're there for them every step of the way can make a big difference.
Consider Timing and External Factors
In Edmonton, weather plays a significant role in the quality of life for seniors. If your parents live in a large, multi-story home that requires constant upkeep, winters can pose safety challenges. Discussing the move during a calm time of year or after a manageable health incident can make the conversation more timely and relevant.
Active Listening Tips: "This winter was tough with all the snow and ice. Do you ever thinking it might be easier to live somewhere that doesn't require so much shovelling or yard work?"
Share Positive Stories from Other Families
Sometimes hearing about other families who’ve gone through a similar transition can help your loved one feel more comfortable with the idea. Share experiences from friends or neighbours who have made the move to a condo, retirement residence, or transitioned into assisted living with positive results.
Reassure Them It's Not Goodbye to Their Independence
One of the biggest fears older adults have is losing their independence. Emphasize that moving doesn’t mean giving up control - it simply means finding a place where their needs can be better met as they age.
Be Patient and Compassionate
This conversation may not be resolved in one sitting. It’s important to be patient, giving your loved one time to consider their options and come to terms with the idea of moving. Offer ongoing support, and revisit the conversation when appropriate.
